Stacey Castor Life Coach

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growing pains

Posted on April 10, 2016 at 10:55 AM

A lifetime ago, sitting at my Mother’s table, I mused aloud, that if we lived long enough we would understand the motivation behind nearly anyone’s choices. In other words, the longer we live, the more experiences we have, the more perspective we are able to take and (hopefully) the less judgemental we become. We begin slowly at first, catching glimpses of alternatives we would not formerly have considered. And there is often great resistance on our part when we first begin to consider them. When we are young, it is easy to begin so many sentences with

“I would never…”


“I will never...”


“I can’t imagine…”


“Why on earth would he/she…”


And then one day we are granted a new understanding of exactly how those people ended up where we said we would never be, doing exactly what we said we would never do. Funny how that happens. We aren’t going to do this or that or the other. Until we do. And there we stand wrapped tightly in both our old judgements and our new understanding. And often with fear, guilt and resistance hovering nearby.


But if we are growing and expanding, we are changing. We are learning. And that means we are constantly outgrowing our circumstances. Whether that is a job, a relationship, a city, or a home. Sometimes they just no longer fit. Sometimes they were never a good fit. Sometimes we simply need to move on, which can be a gut wrenching, heart breaking reality. It is amazing how much emotional pain we humans can experience and still breathe.


But the truth is, we survive and if we allow ourselves to, we thrive. We give gratitude for what we leave behind. We release ourselves from the trap of guilt, knowing that it serves no purpose. Because if we can drop the resistance and embrace our choices without guilt and shame, we are gifted blessings we could never have imagined. But in order to fully receive these gifts, we need to be awake, we need to be open, we need to understand that gifts can come to us side by side with unimaginable pain. And we need to at least entertain the idea that we are worthy of them.


I do not believe that everything happens for a reason. We make choices. It’s that simple. I do believe that when we make heart-centered and soul guided decisions, we are given signs that tell us we are doing all right. In our human need to justify, we label these as reasons. We tell ourselves that this is why something happened. When in reality it’s simply the Universe letting us know we are moving in a direction that can serve us well. Because honestly, there is no one right path. No one right decision. The Universe is amazing. It will help us make the best of whatever path we choose and however we choose to walk it. Generally stumbling, swearing, doubting, hurting, and second-guessing ourselves every step of the way…


So listen to your inner voice. Let it guide you to your heart. Let your heartbeat be the drum to which you march. If you do, you cannot fail. You cannot lose. You’ve got this and the Universe has your back. Every time. Every single time.


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