Stacey Castor Life Coach

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not this

Posted on April 16, 2016 at 8:10 AM

A few weeks ago I bumped up against something in my life that I knew in my heart was not going to work for me. I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and said, “I don’t know what will be, but not this. Not this.” I didn’t know where I was going from that point, I didn’t have an alternative plan, but I was clear it would not be THAT. And that instant of clarity was enough for that moment. Enough to get me to stop. Enough to get me to think, “Not this”. A few days later, a small issue arose and I found myself muttering “not this” under my breath. I liked the sound of it. It was simple. It was straight to the point, and I began exploring ways I could use this simple phrase as a tool for myself and my clients. An easy way to tune into and acknowledge our inner gps, rather like recognizing a sign in the road. A simple way to clarify that in a moment of realization we are acknowledging that which is not going to work for us. We can figure out the rest later.


Do not enter.


Wrong way.


Stop and do not proceed further.


And then this week Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a column on Facebook titled, you guessed it, NOT THIS! I loved it. She said more completely and of course (she is Elizabeth Gilbert after all) more eloquently what I had been thinking about for weeks. Here is an excerpt:


"I call this moment of realization: NOT THIS.

Because sometimes that's all you know, at such a moment.

All you know is: NOT THIS.

Sometimes that's all you CAN know.

All you know is that some deep life force within you is saying, NOT THIS, and it won't be silenced.

Your body is saying: NOT THIS.

Your heart is saying: NOT THIS.

Your soul is saying: NOT THIS.

But your brain can't bring itself to say "NOT THIS", because that would cause a serious problem. The problem is: You don't have a Plan B in place. This is the only life you have. This is the only job you have. This is the only spouse you have. This is the only house you have. Your brain says, "It may not be great, but we have to put up with it, because there are no other options." You're not sure how you got here — to this place of THIS — but you sure as hell don't know how to get out...


But still, beating like a quiet drum, your body and your heart and your soul keep saying: NOT THIS...NOT THIS...NOT THIS."

While this “coincidence” may seem completely random to some and highly unlikely to others, the truth is that this sort of occurrence is quite common. It’s been happening to scientists, researchers, inventors and writers well, forever. Why? Because my loves we are all one. We are truly a collective consciousness. In spite of our political, physical, economic, religious, and philosophical differences, we come from the same Source. We are different heartbeats of the same Awareness.

This is true regardless of what you name it. This is true regardless of whether or not you believe.


If we are honest, we know this. We know it on a deep cellular level. We know it because we have experienced it. Those moments. Those flashes when we know something and can’t explain how. Those instances when we literally feel what the other person is feeling, or we have an almost tangible connection with a complete stranger. When we read another’s thoughts as clearly as if they were speaking them. We know in our hearts that we are connected to the other souls with whom we share this planet.


Now imagine waking up every morning open to that concept. Open to being connected. Open to those inexplicable moments without denying them. Open to being transparent with others without worrying about what they will think. Open to being honest with others without the desire to mitigate their response. Think about being tapped into all of humanity while being completely and utterly you and think what that would mean. The power that would arise, the judgement that would fall away, the beauty that would appear.


So where to start? Start by saying not this to anything and everything that keeps you from authenticity, that keeps you from seeing the sacred in others, that keeps you from living from your soul space. You don’t have to have a bigger plan than that. Start with a declaration. Not this.



To read Elizabeth Gilbert's entire post go to her Facebook page.


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