Stacey Castor Life Coach

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window shopping

Posted on June 25, 2016 at 10:35 AM

It seems to me that one of the primary causes of stress in those around me, personally and professionally, is imagined drama. Yes, I know that sounds harsh, but we all do it. Daily if not hourly. Our brains just seem programmed to create stories with every decision and every bit of information we receive. Most of the time we are either unaware of this, or we label it “processing” or “problem solving” or “discussing”, when what we are doing is imagining. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love imagining. I know it to be a powerful tool in creating the life we want, which is exactly why it needs to be used mindfully and with intention.


So much of the time when we are imagining, we are imagining what so and so will think of us, our decisions, our children, our clothes, our lives. We worry about being judged. We worry about inciting conflict. We worry. And where is the source of this worry? It starts with an observation which is quickly followed by a what-if which taps into our early training to fit in and garner approval. Bam. There it is. Our desire to avoid criticism. Our need for someone's validation. Our emotional fear and neediness become major players and we lose our clarity and our ability to observe and make decisions based solely on our own GPS. And this is unfortunate because our internal guidance is sacred, eternal and infallible.


Imagine if we could witness and experience our lives, but at the same time maintain clarity, and stay connected to our inner voice. Imagine then making decisions that were right for you, and therefore ultimately right for your loved ones. Imagine making a decision about your life that didn’t consider everyone but you in the process. What we’re talking about here is taking all the drama out of your head and out of your life. Not making assumptions about how people are going to react or what they are going to say. I am talking about only dealing with what is real and true and actually happening.


Imagine if you could witness your life with the same casualness with which you window shop? Imagine if you could stay clear enough to see, evaluate, decide and move on to the next moment without replaying, evaluating, expecting, and assuming? When we window shop we move at a pace that suits us without worrying about how quickly or slowly others on the street are walking. We don’t rate our speed. We view scenarios with no pressure to respond or act. We effortlessly enjoy the experience. We don’t assign roles or responses to those with whom we are sharing our time. We view, perhaps playfully consider a purchase, enjoy the moment and move to the next shop window. We are present, soaking up a series of sensory experiences without judgement. What a lovely metaphor for our lives.


How would your days be different if you “window shopped” them? If you gave no time to rehashing the last “window” you viewed? If you gave no energy to imagining how disappointing the next one would be? If you didn’t stress over how others viewed a window differently than you did? I am not suggesting we go through life without emotion, or completely detached from our lives. Quite the contrary, I am, however, suggesting that our emotional responses be authentic and from the heart and not based on fear or need.


So maybe this week we can set our intention to look around and enjoy. To move with less effort from one moment to the next without fear and self-judgement. Perhaps we can drop comparisons and expectations. Perhaps we could just enjoy the beautiful scenarios and moments that are our lives. So this week let's greet and release our moments with graciousness and acceptance so that we may enjoy each one that we are given.









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