Stacey Castor Life Coach

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don't take it with you

Posted on June 30, 2016 at 9:45 AM

For decades now I have been practicing letting go. Letting go of old wounds and painful memories. Letting go of people who drain me of energy. Letting go of foods, habits, and belief systems that no longer serve me well. And for the most part I have been successful. But here’s the thing; life goes on and new painful experiences pop up that can take the place of the ones you have released. Or new toxic people appear on your path. Or you find yourself not quite speaking your truth and then rehashing the scenario and what you “should” have said. In other words, in this area as in others, the work and the practice continue. It feels like perpetual decluttering, in that there is always something that we can release.


And the truth is, I’m more than a little tired of it and I want a better way. A better way of spending my mental and emotional energy. A better way than always needing to clean up my mental space. A better way of handling the life lessons that I request from the Universe. I mean, that’s what they ultimately are, right? They aren’t really random annoyances. They didn’t just happen to show up, we, on some level, requested them for our own growth and awakening. That’s why if we don’t do our work, the same people and the same problems just keep repeating themselves. When we resist the very lessons we invited in, they persist.


So what are my choices if I don’t want to either hold on to, or let go of what I don’t want in my life? Well it occurs to me that there is a third alternative. What if I just let the negative experience or encounter stay in the moment and I move on to the next? What if I don’t take it with me? In other words, what if I don’t pick it up, don’t begin a story about it, don’t embrace it, don’t give it thought or energy. Leave it right there. Be present when it’s happening. Speak my truth if I am able, with no regrets if I can’t. And then what if I do this. Leave. It. There. Move on and don’t give it another thought. Don’t go back over it. Don’t “process” what went wrong. Don’t ponder needing to be heard. Don't offer resistance. Accept. Breathe. Proceed.


So that’s my plan, loves. I’ve already begun doing it and it feels amazing. I feel lighter and more spacious. I feel less burdened. I feel more love, for myself and for others. I feel freer. So try it, and let me know how you do, where your stumbling blocks are, what comes easily for you. And in the spirit of changing our approach I am going to leave you with one of my favorite writings by Portia Nelson.


Autobiography in Five Short Chapters



I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost…….I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.


I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place,

but it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.



I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in………it’s a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.



I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.



I walk down another street.



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11:25 AM on July 7, 2016 
Brilliant...I will certainly try this one on.
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